Joke Tym”THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE”

August 31, 2008

The family is sitting at the dinner table.

The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there’s three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her
thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see
them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many
types of "willies" are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through
three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties & forties, it’s like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas
tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration
only."

Gorgeous girls with Long Tongues

August 12, 2008

Do you want your Tongue like this?

Malacanang Joke

On his trip to Great Britain, GMA had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. Her smirk looked more like a grimace as he told her:

“How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?”

“That`s easy,” she replied, “You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors.”

“But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?” GMA inquired.

“You ask them a riddle,” she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, “Would you please send Tony Blair in.”

When Blair arrived, the Queen said, “I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?”

Blair replied, “That`s easy. The child was me.”

“Very good,” said the Queen, “You may go, now.”

So President GMA went back to Philippines and called in his chief of staff, Gen. Efren Abu. He said to him, “I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?”

Abu replied, “Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?”

“Yes,” said GMA, “I’ll give you four hours to come up with the answer.”

So Abu went and called a meeting of the Malacanang Palace, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.

As Abu was walking back to the Office, he saw Senate President Manny Villar Jr approaching him. So he said, “Mr. Senate President, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your
sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?”

“That’s easy,” said Villar, “The child was me.”

“Oh thank you,” said Abu, “You may just have saved me my job!”

So Abu went in to the Office and said to President GMA, “I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Manny Villar!”

“No, you idiot!” shouted GMA, “The child was Tony Blair!”

About me

My name is Romynic Nequinto and im proud to be a Filipino. I’m 18 yrs old, studying at University of Immaculate Conception where most student struggles to find a degree that this country cant even provide anygood quality job after we graduate. fuck this country. I never had a girlfriend since birth but I experience kissing a girl in there boarding house I’m 1st year college, im just only 16 yrs old that time and that was my time to kiss a girl in the lips. And until now I never had a girlfriend. When im was in high school I always wanted to be a perfect person but now i realize that being a perfect is only a dream. And the only thing that i can do now is to study my lesson to get a higher grade and practicing English language and to get ready for our thesis. And now im trying my best to post and finish this page by the help of my cousin.

Funny Life

I believe we write our own stories
and each time we thought we knew the end?
We don’t.

Perhaps luck exists,
somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance
and in the peace that comes from knowing that you can’t just know it all.
Life’s funny that way.
Yes, life is simple, you make your choices and you don’t look back.
Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.

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